Finding Fault in Oneself
by Ripplingstorm
Summary: Zeref didn't understand how one person could have such a big impact. But this was Mavis Vermillion he was talking about; of course that was what he would find. He just never realized how much that girl touched his heart. If she hadn't, every step she took wouldn't have been so painful. Zervis week day 5; distance. Based on chapter 449, Mavis and Zeref.


**Author's Note:** Look! I wrote something short this time! This is the one-shot I wrote for Zervis week day five, distance.

This contains a lot of reflection from Zeref, so I hope I've kept in character well enough. I also hope it's not as boring as I think.

Will contain slight spoilers from the manga. Strictly anime watchers, read at your own risk!

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Fairy Tail, nor the prompt.

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Finding Fault in Oneself

" _You don't know the true meaning behind taking a life. And once you come to realize it… Everyone around you will disappear."_

Mavis's face was cast in shadows, and her entire body trembled. Her eyes were wide with disbelief. Sweat rolled down her face as she shook. Zeref looked away, his normally emotionless eyes betraying a touch of guilt. He couldn't watch her suffer because of him.

"Why… why would you say such things…"

Zeref hid his eyes behind long bangs. "It's the truth."

"I… thought you were…" Mavis clenched her teeth.

Zeref smiled ever so slightly, looking at her ducked head from the corner of his eyes. She finally understood. She finally realized that all those stories _were_ true, that he was truly a despicable being. As he opened his mouth to bestow more hurt on the girl sitting beside him, guilt flashed through him. He pushed it away. Mavis needed to hear what he had to say. He couldn't simply allow her to live on in oblivion, and become broken as he had when she took the first life. He couldn't watch her from afar as she struggled to understand. It was his responsibility. Zeref had always believed that harsh reality was better than a sweet lie or a sugar-coated truth.

"Now, do you understand? I'm everything the rumours made me out to be."

Mavis didn't utter a single word. She only breathed heavily. Then she stood up, careful to avoid contact with the Black Wizard, and ran. She ran without another word. Zeref watched her go with outward indifference. Inside, his heart and mind waged a savage war. He berated himself for saying such horrible things to her, for scaring her, and for letting her run away. He told himself that she really did need to hear it, that he would see her again. Momentarily, his mind won.

"So it's true… you've always had it in you. The power to walk along side me."

Zeref almost laughed at this interesting turn of events. She was just like him. And when she had finally come to terms with it, she would come find him, of her own will. She would be by his side, and he would never be lonely again. He would never let her go when she came to him. They would be together for eternity, watching the world progress, as time passed them by. It wouldn't be so painful anymore.

He let her run. It didn't matter anyway. They would be together in little time, whether it took a week, three years, or twenty. Time was irrelevant; they were _immortal_. They had forever. Mavis needed to deal with this on her own. She wouldn't believe anything he told her anyway, and would hate him for everything if he pushed her too far. No, it was better this way, that she was carving out a path for herself through horrifying revelations and a rush of deaths. Then, she would really be just like him.

Zeref grinned, sharp canines showing, his expression transforming from an impassive one to near maniacal. _She will come back to me, and then, we can finally be together, for eternity. I'll never have to be alone ever again._

Zeref wholeheartedly agreed with this. He had put forth a perfectly flawless scenario, after all. It would all go according to his spontaneously constructed plan, and he would obtain what he most desired. It was perfect.

Then… why did he feel so much remorse flooding him? Almost drowning his senses in negative emotions of guilt and immense dissatisfaction? He knew he would see her again, yet, at the same time, his heart thudded almost painfully against his ribcage.

He had hurt her with his words, Zeref knew. It had been his intention, after all, and there really wasn't much the legendary Black Wizard, who was over 300 years old and a genius to boot, couldn't do exceptionally well. He aimed to injure her with those words, and he had succeeded. But he didn't feel at ease, even knowing that she wouldn't wake up to find all her friends dead and not knowing what had happened. He knew that Mavis wouldn't fall into insanity, like he had. She was a strong girl.

As he watched her run away, he couldn't help but feel a sharp pang of regret. His logic was flawed, his heart said. Shut up and leave the feelings alone, said his mind. On a rare occasion of giving in to his emotions so completely, Zeref allowed himself to feel something besides cold apathy.

Every single word he had said to her pained him, like a knife on skin. He hadn't wanted to, but managed to convince himself otherwise, reasoning that it was good for her. Maybe it was, but he had to suppress the sudden urge to hug her and comfort the girl as he talked and watched her horrified reactions.

Watching her suffer through the implications his words held and the sheer bluntness of them was one of the hardest things he had ever done. It was so difficult to restrain himself as he struggled with his instincts.

However, it was far worse to stay still, watching her run away from him. It was probably one of the hardest things he had ever done, to not move, or even call after her as her tiny figure retreated into the forest. Every single step she took away from him pained Zeref. He had no one to blame but himself.

He could see the tension in her as she ran, and it hurt more than anything knowing that it was he who had caused her so much pain. He wanted to beat himself over hurting the most beloved thing in his sad existence. It just wasn't _right_ , even when he argued that it was for her own good.

He really couldn't advocate his own messed up logic, not when he was already missing her. He already missed the warmth of her body beside his, the sparkle in her eyes, that incredibly kind heart, and the brilliant smile that put even the sun to shame. Ever step she took carried her farther away from him, and it _hurt_. Curse the gods above who cursed him, it _hurt_. Every time her bare feet hit the ground, his heart thudded painfully.

Perhaps he was being a little melodramatic about it all, but gods above, Mavis's retreating figure was a like a stab to his heart. The distance she put between then hurt so much, too much. She pushed him away and then ran. She didn't realize it, but her actions were killing him. Figuratively, of course, but even so.

However, Zeref resigned himself to suffer that growing distance between them, both on a physiological and physical level. It would eventually turn out okay, right? They wouldn't be separated for long. Mavis would come back to him. She had to. Then everything would be righted.

He didn't know how just wrong he was.


End file.
